Repair attempt worksheet

A repair attempt is not an apology theatre. It's naming the harm, taking responsibility, and offering a concrete change. This worksheet drafts one without manipulation.

Script builder tool

When to use this

After a rupture you contributed to and now want to repair.
Within the week of the rupture — repair-attempt windows close fast.
Before you've fully forgiven yourself, but after you can listen without defending.

How to complete it

Name the specific behaviour, not the feeling. ‘I cut you off three times’ not ‘I'm sorry you got upset.’
Offer the change as a behaviour the other person can hold you to.
Plan the timing and setting. Repair attempts in the doorway, drunk, or in front of others usually re-injure.

Common mistakes

Adding ‘but’ — it deletes everything that came before it.
Demanding immediate forgiveness so you can stop feeling bad. That's about you, not the repair.
Performing repair without changing the behaviour.

Repair attempt worksheet

Vinthony Academy · vinthony.com

1. The rupture, in one sentence.

2. The harm — what you think they experienced.

3. Your part. Specific. No softening.

4. What you're committing to do differently.

A behaviour, not a feeling. Something they can hold you to.

5. What you won't apologise for.

Important. Repair isn't self-abandonment.

6. How and when you'll make the attempt.